Jacob Hawley

Keir Starmer is depicted as unusually relatable after being photographed having a beer following his resignation as prime minister, with many praising him while right‑wing critics attacked the moment. The article contrasts Starmer’s previously stiff public image with the authenticity of the pub scene, compares reactions to similar behaviour by Nigel Farage, and suggests that incoming leader Andy Burnham may prove more naturally relatable. Despite criticisms of Starmer’s leadership, the piece argues that his low‑key farewell pint offered a rare humanising moment.

A personal opinion column argues that deliberately throwing pints at England fan parks has become a standardized, antisocial ritual rather than genuine spontaneous celebration. After being repeatedly soaked while watching England’s World Cup match against Croatia at London’s O2 Forum, the writer criticizes venues and crowds for tolerating or encouraging the behavior, contrasting it with the more understandable exuberance of the pandemic-era 2021 Euros. The column calls on England supporters to keep their drinks on the tables unless the team wins the final.

Myles Lewis-Skelly's first England call-up has prompted both congratulations and racist abuse, alongside criticism that the 18-year-old is arrogant or unlikeable. The writer argues that this treatment echoes the racism faced by Bukayo Saka, Jadon Sancho, Marcus Rashford, Cyrille Regis and Viv Anderson, and contrasts it with the largely positive reaction to Dan Burn's welcome. Lewis-Skelly's confidence, talent and personality are presented as qualities to celebrate, while fans and the wider football community are urged to challenge racist abuse publicly.

Comedian Ross McCafferty argues that both Peter Kay and heckler Philip Peters were understandable in the “Garlic Bread” dispute, but that the real problem was staging comedy in a huge arena. Peters repeatedly shouted Kay’s signature catchphrase at Manchester’s AO Arena and was removed by security, later claiming he was bruised and seeking an apology. McCafferty says a smaller venue would have allowed Kay to address the disruption directly, while large arenas make audience interaction difficult and encourage fans to imitate viral social-media crowd work. He concludes that oversized venues, loud audiences and social-media expectations are cheapening live comedy.

Gary Lineker's departure from Match of the Day is presented as the end of an era, but the programme itself is argued to remain more important than its presenter. The BBC is urged to avoid rotating hosts, influencer-led content and major format changes, preserving the familiar football-focused structure that serves older and time-poor fans. Younger viewers already receive goals and analysis through social media, while Match of the Day still provides older supporters with a dependable weekly ritual and expert punditry.

Gareth Southgate’s resignation after nearly eight years as England manager leaves a mixed sporting record, including two European Championship finals and a 2018 World Cup semi-final but no trophies. While his cautious tactics and recent tournament performances frustrated supporters, his more significant legacy was rebuilding the relationship between the England team and the public. He created an inclusive team culture, introduced young players, supported Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka after the racist abuse that followed Euro 2020, and gave fans joy and unity during years marked by Brexit, political division and the COVID-19 pandemic. The central conclusion is that Southgate may not have been the manager England wanted for trophies, but he was the manager the country needed to restore pride and collective optimism.

England fans had little to celebrate during Euro 2024 until Cristiano Ronaldo missed a penalty for Portugal against Slovenia and broke down in tears. The column argues that supporters united in schadenfreude because Ronaldo is seen as increasingly selfish and focused on his personal image rather than teamwork. Portugal ultimately advanced after Ronaldo scored in the shootout and goalkeeper Diogo Costa saved three penalties, but the episode still became a rare source of shared amusement for England supporters frustrated by their own team's underwhelming performances.

Gary Lineker's recent jokes and criticism of Harry Kane are presented as symptoms of a wider problem with mainstream football broadcasting. The column argues that Lineker's cautious, centrist style and BBC platform appeal to neither viewers seeking entertainment nor those wanting detailed tactical analysis. Digital creators such as Chunkz, True Geordie and IShowSpeed are attracting audiences with more distinctive content, while former players including Gary Neville, Jamie Carragher and Ian Wright are offering analysis through podcasts and YouTube. Lineker is not explicitly called for dismissal, but is portrayed as increasingly out of step with audiences who are moving from television to online personalities.

The column argues that Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer’s repeated stories about their parents and childhoods are an irritating and ineffective attempt to build voter connection. It focuses on Sunak’s claim that his family had to choose between private-school tuition and Sky TV, presenting the example as evidence of his wealth, privilege and lack of understanding of ordinary household pressures. The writer criticizes Sunak’s economic record, advisers and campaign messaging, and predicts that voters will reject him and the Conservatives at the forthcoming general election.

Comedian Jacob Hawley describes paying almost £200 for a London-to-Dundee train journey that was overcrowded, lacked a usable seat, WiFi, toilet and catering, and offered no meaningful staff support. He argues that unreliable and expensive rail travel has become normalised in Britain despite substantial public investment, blames railway privatisation and the Conservative Party, and says the network’s dysfunction reflects broader problems in the UK while encouraging people to use domestic flights.

Football supporters may be hypocritical when they condemn unethical ownership and political conduct while continuing to support clubs funded by controversial sponsors and broadcasters. The columnist uses Arsenal as an example, contrasting its progressive image with partnerships involving Emirates and Visit Rwanda, while also criticizing Manchester City’s alleged financial breaches and Newcastle’s Saudi ownership. Despite football’s commercialization and links to human-rights controversies in Qatar and Saudi Arabia, fan pressure has defeated projects such as the European Super League and the proposed Premier League 39th game. Continued protest and scrutiny are presented as necessary to preserve the sport’s identity and moral accountability.

Jacob Hawley describes repeated dizziness and fainting that led to hospital admission after advice from NHS 111 and a GP failed to resolve his symptoms. He recounts confused handovers, understaffing, dirty toilets, inadequate monitoring, a mistaken suggestion that he had suffered a heart attack, difficulties obtaining scans and specialist referrals, and ultimately discharging himself. Although grateful to NHS staff and committed to the service, he argues that chronic underfunding and political pressure have eroded the NHS’s ability to provide a dependable safety net, leaving patients to bear the consequences through anxiety, delays and fragmented care.

Jacob Hawley recounts joining the Anthony Nolan stem cell donor register as a university student, eventually donating to Susan, a stranger with stage-four cancer whose condition went into remission. Although he received public recognition, including Anthony Nolan’s Donor Champion of the Year award, Hawley argues that the student volunteers and charity workers who recruit donors and help save many lives deserve greater praise. He plans to host a comedy night in Islington on 12 November to raise funds for Anthony Nolan and encourage more people to join the register.

Jacob Hawley reflects on his lifelong enjoyment of sunshine and tanning alongside his growing fear of climate change. He argues that many working-class people may struggle to associate warmer weather with danger after generations of celebrating rare British sunshine, and urges climate activists to show greater empathy. Despite enjoying heatwaves, he recognizes the risks posed by extreme temperatures, flooding, wildfires and failing infrastructure, particularly for his children, and concludes that people must overcome political tribalism, challenge their own attitudes and mobilize for climate action.

Jacob Hawley reflects on how holidaymakers increasingly film, livestream and edit every aspect of their trips for social media. Comparing current influencer culture with his earlier holidays, he questions why people without an obvious financial or professional incentive devote so much effort to creating content. He suggests that the pursuit of viral fame may reflect a deeper need for validation and argues that smartphones and platforms such as Instagram can undermine private emotional support and face-to-face interaction.

A freelance comedian and father of two describes the financial strain caused by rising rent, utilities, food, transport and childcare costs despite earning more than ever. He contrasts genuine financial hardship with people who claim to be skint while holding substantial savings, and criticizes advice such as giving up lattes or avocado toast as ignorant of the pressures facing millennials. He calls for greater empathy toward people unable to afford essentials and says the cost-of-living crisis has affected his mood, relationship and health.

Jacob Hawley describes his lifelong anxiety about having thin hair and the fear of going bald. Although his hair has remained largely unchanged, he has spent nearly £3,000 over six years on a hair treatment whose effectiveness he cannot determine, while experiencing ongoing stress about using it consistently. He discusses hair as a major part of male identity and self-image, considers but rejects medication because of reported side effects, and says he would consider a hair transplant in Turkey if his hair loss worsened. His insecurity continues despite reassurance from his barber.

After spending the previous two Christmases with COVID-19 and celebrating quietly with his partner and daughter, Jacob Hawley reflects on the pressure to make this holiday season unusually large and festive. He argues that smaller gatherings can be more meaningful, especially as the UK faces a cost-of-living crisis, poor housing, isolation and ongoing long COVID. The priority, he says, should be kindness, avoiding overcommitment and spending time with the people who matter most.

Jacob Hawley describes feeling frightened rather than excited during his partner’s pregnancy and reassures prospective fathers that this reaction is normal. He advises parents to preserve their existing lifestyle where possible, trust and cooperate with their partner, accept imperfection, make time for their relationship, and embrace the deep bond that develops with a child. He also recounts how his daughter’s serious infection highlighted the importance of listening to his partner and seeking medical care.