Jane O'Gorman

Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman advises three readers. She encourages one woman not to let a verbally abusive sexual experience destroy her confidence, recommends reporting a credit-stealing and undermining co-worker to management or HR, and tells a reader whose friend has become distant to request one phone-free conversation or move on and build new friendships.

Jane O’Gorman advises a reader to reject a former friend’s request to organise and cater her wedding after the friend slept with the reader’s boyfriend, arguing that the friend is exploitative and entitled. In a second case, she recommends that a family seek professional help for a mother whose severe hoarding is creating unsafe living conditions for herself and her sister, and contact social services if she refuses assistance.

Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman responds to two readers seeking advice. The first feels unable to complain about relatively comfortable circumstances because friends and family accuse them of having 'first world problems'; O'Gorman advises seeking more supportive friends while maintaining boundaries with a troubled sister. The second dreads a family holiday because relatives repeatedly question their single status and they are struggling with low confidence and dissatisfaction at work. O'Gorman recommends asserting boundaries, considering changes to work and lifestyle, seeking medical support if unhappy or unwell, and remembering that attendance at the holiday is optional.

Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman advises a woman who regrets dumping a sexually compatible ex because her friends considered him unattractive to apologise in person, cut ties with her judgmental friends and ask for another chance. In a second dilemma, she urges an engaged woman whose fiancé has become distant to trust her instincts, stop pursuing him and emotionally prepare for the possibility that he has reconsidered the marriage.

Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman advises a reader to end a long-standing friendship with a bullying woman who exploits her for transport and is having an affair with a married man whose wife is recovering from major surgery. In a second dilemma, O'Gorman suggests that a financially struggling woman clarify her relationship with her ex-mother-in-law, who refuses to help despite discarding usable food, while the woman's ex-husband contributes nothing.

Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman responds to four readers. She advises a father of three to discuss family-size concerns and contraception openly with his wife, possibly with a counsellor, rather than avoid intimacy. She urges an engaged woman to be confident about meeting her partner through a dating app and stand up to critical relatives. A woman who had a drunken sexual encounter fears blackmail after her boss requests money; O'Gorman advises refusing the demand, involving police if intimidation continues, and considering disclosure to her boyfriend because of sexual-health implications. Finally, she tells a woman whose boyfriend was dismissed for inappropriate conduct toward a colleague to demand accountability and consider leaving the relationship.

Agony aunt Jane O’Gorman advises a reader to end contact with an ex-girlfriend who continues sending flirtatious messages, requesting sex and money, and disrupting new relationships. In a second case, she supports a reader humiliated by a bullying brother-in-law, recommending distance, honesty with the family, and refusing to tolerate further mistreatment.

Jane O'Gorman advises a reader whose boyfriend repeatedly initiates sex at inconvenient times and appears to use sex to control her and mark his territory. She recommends setting firm boundaries, recognizing that refusal must be respected, and reconsidering the relationship if he will not change. In a second problem, she challenges a wealthy couple who believe friends and neighbours are avoiding them out of jealousy, suggesting that flaunting their money or causing disruption during renovations may have damaged relationships and advising apologies, humility and patience.

Agony aunt Jane O’Gorman advises four readers on personal dilemmas. She tells a 27-year-old woman dating a sexually exciting but poor man and a wealthy but dull man to step back from both and seek someone who better matches her emotional and sexual needs. She urges a man who has outgrown an old friend to set boundaries honestly rather than continuing to criticize her behind her back. She discourages a reader from humiliating their mother-in-law with unverified claims about a deceased father-in-law’s visits to a brothel, recommending a direct discussion about their strained relationship instead. Finally, she rejects the claim that everyone cheats and tells a betrayed man to confront his girlfriend about their incompatible values and lack of remorse.

Agony aunt Jane O’Gorman advises a reader not to pursue her best friend’s boyfriend, stressing that attraction does not justify violating her friend’s trust and recommending that she seek an available partner instead. In a second problem, she tells parents to set firm boundaries with competitive, overgenerous grandparents by coordinating schedules, limiting sweets and toys, and giving away excess items if necessary.

A woman describes her intense affair with a married man who visits her three nights a week for sex but refuses to set a date for divorcing his wife. She wants marriage, children and a shared future, but worries that pressing him will drive him away. Agony aunt Jane O'Gorman doubts his promises, questions why he never stays overnight and suggests that his wife may not know about the affair. She advises the woman to tell her parents, end the relationship and require the man to resolve his marriage before considering any future together.

An advice column responds to three readers: one facing family backlash after an affair exposed during a barbecue, another seeking greater financial independence from a controlling spouse, and a third confused about being ignored by a long‑time friend. The guidance urges accountability, honest communication, reassessment of relationship dynamics, and patience where appropriate.

Two readers describe troubled relationships, one involving a partner who enjoys humiliation and another marked by aggression and paranoia. Jane O’Gorman urges open communication in the first case to understand boundaries and motivations, and advises ending the relationship in the second due to escalating abusive behaviour and personal safety concerns.

A mother fears her adult daughter is being exploited by an older married man and considers exposing the affair, but advice warns her to respect boundaries and repair their relationship. A newly married woman worries her husband is manipulative and unethical, prompting guidance to reassess the relationship based on his behavior. Another reader struggles with low sexual desire and is advised to communicate openly with his partner and seek medical support to address potential physical or psychological causes.

A man describes his girlfriend’s growing obsession with cleanliness and withdrawal from intimacy after losing her job, prompting Jane O’Gorman to advise encouraging her to rebuild confidence, seek new career options, and consider professional help if anxiety is overwhelming. A second reader shares concerns about a partner prioritising her cats over their relationship, with advice to confront her unwillingness to compromise and question whether she prefers independence.

Multiple readers seek relationship advice on issues including suspected infidelity, a partner’s ongoing disputes with neighbours, guilt after cheating on a stag trip, and mismatched sexual expectations. The guidance emphasises confronting difficult truths, prioritising self-respect, communicating openly, and recognising when a relationship may no longer be healthy or sustainable.

A woman seeks advice after her partner’s past affair resurfaces when his former colleague hints that her child may be his, leaving the woman feeling insecure and powerless. Jane O’Gorman advises confronting the partner for the truth and determining whether he intends to continue the relationship or recommit. In a second inquiry, O’Gorman tells a reader to firmly remove a non-paying lodger who remained after the original tenant moved out, recommending a clear deadline and escalation if needed.

Two readers describe feeling exploited by family members and partners, one overwhelmed by financially dependent relatives and a non‑contributing lover, the other pressured to house a mother unwilling to give up destructive habits. The advice urges setting boundaries, reclaiming control of the home, refusing unreasonable demands, and prioritising personal wellbeing and future goals.

A woman seeks advice after her partner asks her to have sex with other men for him to watch, raising concerns about trust, boundaries and emotional wellbeing. Jane O'Gorman cautions her to prioritise her own safety, comfort and autonomy and to discuss concerns openly before agreeing to anything. Additional letters cover workplace jealousy over a colleague’s romantic success, a girlfriend prioritising money and home over her relationship, and a son’s partner who monopolises attention, with guidance centred on self-worth, communication and establishing healthy boundaries.

Two readers describe relationship problems involving judgment over a partner’s sex work and frustration with an unfulfilling partnership. Guidance focuses on honest communication, addressing insecurity and embarrassment, ensuring personal wellbeing, and considering shared arrangements or fresh starts where relationships have broken down.

A man struggles with a relationship in which his girlfriend shows interest only in sex and not in emotional connection or shared activities, leaving him feeling used despite his desire for a future together. Jane O'Gorman advises him to confront her about the imbalance and consider whether she can offer the mutual relationship he wants, suggesting professional help if addictive behavior is involved. In a separate query, she advises a woman hurt by her husband’s ongoing feelings for a past affair partner to seek honest communication and possibly counseling to assess the future of their marriage.

Advice letters address fears of an unfaithful partner, jealousy over friends’ success, and frustration with a long-term partner unwilling to come out to her parents. Guidance urges recognising unhealthy relationships, focusing on personal goals, and reassessing whether to remain in situations that compromise dignity or emotional well‑being.

A series of readers’ personal dilemmas receive guidance on confronting suspected infidelity, managing mismatched attitudes toward intimacy, and setting boundaries with an intrusive neighbour, emphasising honest communication, self-awareness and firm personal limits.

A man seeks advice because his girlfriend prioritizes performing online sexual content for money over spending time with him, prompting concerns about her compulsive behavior and the future of their relationship. Another reader reports a friend who habitually avoids paying her share and owes significant amounts to multiple people, leading to recommendations for a calm discussion and clear boundaries about future expectations.

An advice column addresses two readers’ struggles, one coping with divorce after discovering her husband maintained a secret family while she worked to fund IVF, and another dealing with loneliness and low confidence despite significant weight loss. The columnist urges the first to reject blame, focus on completing the divorce, and view the future as a fresh start, while advising the second to build confidence through proactive social steps, career exploration, and broader life engagement to foster fulfillment and future relationships.

A woman seeks advice after her partner pressures her to try dogging, despite her desire for a calmer, sober life; she is urged to assert boundaries and refuse anything that makes her uncomfortable. Additional letters address a friend exaggerating her social life for attention, a boyfriend caught engaging with a sex worker online, and longstanding insecurities caused by being compared to a high-achieving sibling.

A man feels intimidated by his sexually assertive girlfriend and struggles to meet her expectations. The advice stresses that the mismatch in sexual comfort may signal incompatibility and encourages him to seek a partner more aligned with his needs. In a second issue, another reader describes his girlfriend’s unresolved trauma caused by her parents’ substance abuse. The advice urges counselling, emotional support, and focusing on stability and positives in her current life while recognising past issues cannot be undone.

A woman struggles with her boyfriend’s severe gambling problem, which has led to significant debt, deceit, and conflict in their relationship. Jane O’Gorman advises that his addiction requires urgent professional help and warns against giving him money or enabling his behaviour. She recommends seeking support through GamCare and considering personal wellbeing when deciding the future of the relationship. She also counsels another reader to take responsibility after being asked to move out by downsizing parents.

A 27‑year‑old woman expresses jealousy over her mother's younger partner and misinterprets his friendliness as romantic interest. Jane O'Gorman advises her to stop pursuing him, recognise that the couple is committed, distance herself if necessary, and focus on rebuilding her own life and self‑respect instead of chasing someone who is off‑limits.

Several readers seek guidance on relationship troubles, including pressure to change appearance, an extravagant post-divorce celebration, unresolved fallout from an affair and long-term betrayal revealed late. Advice stresses setting firm boundaries, avoiding debt, having honest conversations about whether relationships are salvageable and focusing on moving forward rather than past harm.

A woman seeks advice after discovering condoms in her husband's car and learning he was having an affair, which has since affected their children. Jane O’Gorman advises separating the children from the conflict, meeting the estranged husband to discuss co‑parenting, and considering counselling or mediation. A second reader asks about a workplace crush, and Jane warns against pursuing office romances, urging honesty with partners and maintaining professional boundaries.