Kirsty Ketley

Parents often describe the six-week school holidays as something to survive, but Kirsty Ketley argues that social media and unrealistic expectations make the break seem harder than it needs to be. While acknowledging the genuine pressures of childcare, work and cost, she describes her own family’s largely unstructured holidays, where boredom gives children space to become independent and create their own fun. She encourages parents to lower expectations, avoid constant stimulation and focus on enjoying ordinary, unscheduled moments together.

Parents face genuine pressures during the six-week school holidays, particularly around work, childcare and the cost of activities, but social media has intensified expectations that children must be constantly entertained. Kirsty Ketley argues that families should lower the bar, accept boredom and allow children to create their own fun through ordinary, inexpensive activities. Unplanned time, she suggests, can produce happier childhood memories than highly scheduled or Instagram-worthy experiences.

End-of-term class collections for teachers have become increasingly expensive, with one London class reportedly raising £560 and the writer’s son’s class spending about £200 on a teacher and teaching assistant. The writer argues that social pressure leads parents to contribute more than they can comfortably afford and that additional gifts create unnecessary competition. While teachers deserve recognition, handwritten cards, drawings and messages from children are portrayed as more meaningful and lasting than expensive hampers or vouchers. An unofficial cap of £5 per family is proposed to make collections fairer and less burdensome.

Kirsty Ketley argues that schools and parents should not have to repeatedly manage shortened school days during heatwaves. While acknowledging schools' efforts to protect children and support working parents, she says overheated classrooms, disrupted learning and unequal childcare burdens reveal inadequate infrastructure and years of underinvestment. She calls for government investment in better-adapted school buildings, air conditioning and shaded spaces as extreme heat becomes more frequent and intense in the UK.

Children should learn that they will not always win, succeed, or be exceptional, and that effort and perseverance matter more than ego. However, teaching resilience should not mean mocking sensitivity or suppressing emotions. Parents should acknowledge disappointment, provide compassion and support, and help children accept defeat, congratulate winners, and try again without equating failure with diminished personal worth.

Children should learn that they will not always win, be selected, or excel, and sports can teach teamwork, discipline and resilience. However, teaching resilience should not mean mocking sensitivity or dismissing disappointment. Parents should acknowledge children’s emotions while encouraging them to accept defeat, congratulate winners, keep trying and understand that coming second or last does not diminish their value.

Jenny Mollen’s social media caption describing her eldest son as the “most toxic boyfriend” prompted backlash because it appeared to introduce romantic and Oedipal dynamics into a mother-child relationship. The commentary acknowledges that Mollen’s wording and an accompanying photograph were inappropriate, but argues that her underlying subject was the consuming, irrational intensity of parental love and the fear of becoming less important as children grow up. Parenting can produce exaggerated, contradictory emotions, although those feelings should not be expressed through romantic comparisons between parents and children.

Children should remain welcome in British pubs, but parents must supervise them and teach them how to behave in shared spaces. The writer describes incidents including children urinating in play areas, damaging equipment and taking other customers’ drinks, arguing that adults who disengage from parenting create the problem. While acknowledging the financial and emotional pressures on modern families, she warns that pubs may eventually ban children because of unchecked behaviour by some parents, unfairly penalising families whose children behave appropriately.

Brightly coloured, inexpensive alcoholic drinks such as BuzzBallz 99 may appeal visually to teenagers, but they are unlikely to create underage drinking culture on their own. Young people have long consumed whatever alcohol was available, while modern adults also favour sweet, colourful and social-media-friendly drinks. Alcohol companies should face stricter scrutiny over advertising to minors, influencer marketing, retail placement and online promotion, but efforts to reduce youth drinking should also address alcohol’s wider role in family life, socialising, celebrations and adult coping habits. Education about alcohol’s risks and pressures is presented as more effective than blaming a single product.

A parent describes the repeated comments and jokes directed at her nine-year-old son Leo because of his ginger hair, including questions about his parentage, insults and assumptions about his temperament. Although many people intend no harm, the constant attention has made Leo uncomfortable and self-conscious. His family reinforces that his hair is a normal genetic trait and that people should focus on his character rather than commenting on his appearance.

A mother objects to strangers and other adults repeatedly commenting on her nine-year-old son Leo’s ginger hair, questioning his parentage, assigning personality traits to his appearance and making jokes that have sometimes upset him. Although Leo was initially unaware of the remarks, he now avoids attention and feels singled out. His parents discuss genetics, celebrate his individuality and emphasize that people should not comment on children’s appearances unless offering a genuine compliment. The central message is that ginger hair is only one small aspect of Leo’s identity and should not become a source of unwanted scrutiny or ridicule.

The columnist condemns Pete Davidson’s joke about watching pornography in front of his baby daughter, arguing that it is not edgy comedy but a harmful normalization of exposing children to sexual content. Drawing on her experience as a mother and professional who has worked with children and families, she says the joke raises safeguarding concerns and warns that laughing it off can lower social boundaries around children’s protection.

Kirsty Ketley describes how annual holidays in Cornwall with another family dramatically reduced her children’s interest in screens. Shared childcare, built-in playmates, outdoor activities and a unified approach from four parents meant the children rarely asked for tablets and instead played imaginatively. The experience also reduced the parents’ own scrolling and convinced her that companionship, fresh air and freedom can make children thrive without screens, although she acknowledges it is not a permanent solution.

Kirsty Ketley explains that she tells her children Santa brings only stocking fillers, while larger presents come from their parents. She adopted the approach after seeing children’s expectations grow to include expensive gifts such as an iPad and a Disneyland trip. Although some parents viewed the practice as cruel, she argues that it reduces financial and emotional pressure, prevents comparisons and inequalities among children, and helps children appreciate the effort behind substantial gifts without removing the magic of Christmas.