Kirsty Ketley

Kirsty Ketley argues that parents can reasonably use small, harmless lies to manage children’s anxiety, preserve imagination and cope with everyday challenges. She distinguishes these white lies from dishonesty that avoids accountability or undermines trust, emphasizing that children should receive complete honesty about serious issues such as safety, health, relationships and responsibility. She concludes that teaching children to use occasional fibs with kindness and tact can be compatible with strong moral guidance and a secure parent-child relationship.

Many parents, including the author, do not enjoy pretend play with their children, but that does not make them bad parents. Play remains important for child development, yet meaningful connection can also happen through cooking, school runs, bedtime conversations, walks and other everyday activities. The author argues that pressure to provide constant child-led entertainment can create unnecessary guilt, while independent play helps children develop creativity, problem-solving and resilience. Healthy parenting involves emotionally available, authentic relationships in which children and parents share both the child’s world and ordinary aspects of adult life.

Kirsty Ketley describes experiencing severe memory problems, anxiety, sleep disruption and brain fog during menopause, initially fearing she had dementia. She says hormone replacement therapy gradually improved her symptoms and restored her confidence and mental clarity. Research linking menopause with changes in brain regions involved in memory and cognition provided validation, while findings that HRT may help slow some cognitive decline offer cautious hope without proving protection against dementia. She calls for better GP education, earlier discussions and more nuanced recognition of menopause symptoms.

Kirsty Ketley explains that she keeps only a carefully selected few pieces of her children’s artwork and recycles the rest. She argues that preserving every drawing is driven more by parental guilt and sentimentality than by children’s needs, and that memories are rooted in experiences rather than possessions. Discarding excess artwork, she concludes, can reduce household clutter, protect parents’ sanity and teach children emotional resilience and that happiness does not depend on keeping everything.

Kirsty Ketley argues that children should not be paid for routine household chores because doing so can make them view family responsibilities as optional and dependent on financial rewards. She advocates treating chores as a normal part of contributing to a shared household, while allowing children to earn extra money for tasks beyond their usual responsibilities. Pocket money, she suggests, should instead reflect broader responsibility and behavior.

Kirsty Ketley argues that parents should not rush to eliminate their children’s sadness, frustration or disappointment. She advocates clear, warm and consistent boundaries, including saying “no” without prolonged negotiation, while still acknowledging children’s feelings and avoiding shouting or shame. Allowing children to experience manageable setbacks, she argues, helps them develop patience, self-regulation and resilience rather than expecting every uncomfortable emotion to be immediately resolved.

Parenting consultant Kirsty Ketley argues that regularly checking her 11-year-old daughter’s phone is responsible supervision rather than an invasion of privacy. She describes discovering bullying, inappropriate images, contact with older strangers and other harmful content in Year 7 group chats. Although she acknowledges the risks of smartphone use and the difficult conversations it creates, she believes denying her daughter a phone would unfairly isolate her socially, so she uses parental controls, time limits and spot checks while gradually planning to loosen restrictions as her daughter matures.

Parenting consultant Kirsty Ketley argues that adults should enforce their own house rules when other children behave disrespectfully or cause harm during playdates. She distinguishes discipline from punishment, advocating calm but firm correction, and says parents are justified in refusing future visits from children whose behaviour remains disruptive or damaging.

Parenting consultant Kirsty Ketley argues that parents should not deliberately let children win games. Drawing on her experiences with her own children, she says that consistently allowing them to lose helps them manage frustration, develop resilience, problem-solve and become gracious competitors. She believes learning to cope with defeat in childhood prepares children for future setbacks in education, work, sport and other competitive situations.

Kirsty Ketley describes how her eight-year-old son’s intense attachment to a best friend prompted her to encourage a broader circle of friendships. She argues that relying too heavily on one friend can leave children vulnerable to loneliness, jealousy and damaged self-worth if the relationship changes. Although close friendships offer comfort and stability, varied friendships can help children build social skills, empathy, resilience, independence and openness to different perspectives.

Parents should not allow children to skip school sports day because participating helps them learn to handle disappointment, failure, competition and teamwork. The experience can build confidence when adults emphasise effort and good sportsmanship rather than winning, while also encouraging physical activity amid high childhood obesity rates and low adherence to daily exercise guidelines. Children who dislike competing can still contribute through roles such as keeping scores or managing water stations, and parents should acknowledge their feelings without shielding them from setbacks.